Looking for Hope

I do love seeing the trees so beautiful. I am asking and looking for anything to help me find hope again. it's so very hard to even explain what I feel. This is on a deep phyic level. A feeling of doom. it reminds me of when I was very young. ( I saw one of the first TV's in a store they were really funny then. Big radio with a very samll screen. I thought I was just seeing something that was not real. A picture of a man talking about the world coming to an end. I thought about what I would miss the most when this happened. it was the stars so I stayed up all night because I did think it was the last night of the world. This is very close to the same feeling last of whatever was. The journey of the soul has so many events to see beyond . Hope this is a great awakening